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Jett Blak
|image = |caption = The Scrub Himself |fullname = Jett Blak |alias = Xzxnoscope_ganja_masterkiller69xzx El Presidente Douche Jet Blonk PwnerOfNoobs6969 |age = 40(Reality) Prepubescent Teen(Mindset) |species = Cybrog |homeplanet = Erf |hair = Thinning |eyes = Lazy |height = Average |weight = Xbox Gamer |affiliation = Outlaw Bebop Camel Ganja Clan Shout of Necessity Modding Community US Government |profession = Leetist Virtual Farmer Negligent Pilot Government Official |weapons = Cybrog Fist Uncontrolled Bladder Presidential Powers Assorted Gun Camos Spacebook }} Jett Blak is the pilot of Spik's ship - the Bebop, a duty which he neglects more often than not to play his Xbax-7. In the President Blak continuity, he later went on to become king of space America. Biography Jett Blak, in his youth, was a fun-loving gamer who enjoyed nothing more than playing PS2 with his best friend Ed. However, when testing the newly released eye-toy, he raised his arm too high and it was severed by a rotary fan. After this traumatic incident, Blak fell into a stupor, swearing to play Xbox and only Xbox till the day he died. He also attempted to drink away the shame of the incident by imbibing vast quantities of Mtn Dew, not realising that Mtn Dew has no alcoholic properties. Despite attempting to get his life together by stealing a pilot's license and writing his name on it in green crayon, the incident still torments him and his drinking habits persist. Characteristics Appearance Jett Blak is a man of moderate weight. He often is found wearing Hawaiian shirts and cargo shorts, but occasionally wears a business suit instead, usually when acting as president or trying to break into E3 to steal a new Xbox which he can't afford because Spik pays him in bean bag pellets. He has significant facial hair, which is biologically black but will often be stained orange with Dorito crumbs. He also has a robotic arm stemming from his run-in with Ed's ceiling fan, it has several functions including unscrewing tight soda pop lids and fanning his Xbox to try and prevent it from exploding. Personality Jett Blak tries to act his age, but in truth he is an arrogant man-child. He is impatient, often using illicit means to unlock gun camos in his favorite fps games, and is also delusional, believing that Faye will go out with him if he asks over Spacebook. He is quick to go mad with power when put into an influential position, as seen when he becomes president and declares everyone must friend him on Spacebook. Wild irresponsibility is also a problem he has, having spent the entire Space US budget on bit coins and Farmville microtransactions. In spite of this, Jett Blak values his friends deep down, and is merely enacting petty revenge because they destroyed his console. Abilities Jett Blak, due to being a cyborg, has several capabilities. He has a small chip in his brain encoded with the perfect bellpeppers and beef recipe, which is presumably why Spik lets him sleep inside the ship. He also has super-human reflexes, with the ability to harvest over 800 turnips a minute from Farmville. His mechanical arm is made of a material so rare and dense that even the Kinect camera can recognise it. Trivia *Jett Blak has a distant cousin, Boeing Wite, who has only appeared in supplemental databooks. *Jett Blak enjoys cooking shows, especially Space Ready, Steady, Cook! *Jett Blak's favourite game franchise is actually kinect sports currently, but he favors watching let's plays of it to moving to actually play it. *Jett Blak has an IQ of 'A Lot Really' according to his crayon ID. Gallery Bellpeppersandbeef.png|Making bellpeppers and beef. Category:Characters Category:Outlaw Bebop Camel Gang Category:Cobo Beboop